Normal, normal

"November 21, 2001:  Made two pumpkin pies.  Dale brought lunch and we visited.
November 22, 2001:  Thanksgiving Day.  Nancy and I went to Greta's.  Mary, Mitch and Anna went, too.  Had a grand dinner and a wonderful afternoon.
November 23, 2001:  I called Myrtle today.  Nancy came in evening.  I showered and then we played Rummikub.

I see a developing pattern here of visitors and Rummikub in Grandma's life at this time.  Plus, going to Winside as opposed to a long history of hosting visitors coming to Winside.  But, Grandma adapted and soldiered on; change didn't seem to affect her all that much or else she was good at just going with the flow.

Here in 2013, I am proud to announce that I got my desk cleared out this weekend.  I will not report on how embarrassingly long a chore it was.  But, the point is, I should be up and running with the computer before the weekend so I just might be an every day blogger again soon instead of just a Monday through Friday blogger.  Life is good.

I just have to show off this photo I took of two of the four turkeys that have adopted us and feel comfortable enough to go in the coop and eat all of the guineas' food, darn it.  But, they are handsome beasts in a weird kind of regal way.

A kid's perspective

"November 17, 2001:  Mitch and Anna here for supper and the evening.  We watched TV and played Rummikub.
November 19, 2001:  Rearranged some of the cupboards.  Still a lot more to do.  Nancy came with a card for Bill.  We got ours ready and she'll mail them tomorrow.
November 20, 2001:  Bill is 62 years old today.  Mary took me to beauty school at noon for shampoo, etc.  Nancy came in evening so I could shower -- then we played Rummikub."

Pretty normal stuff here.  I remember Grandma babysitting for the kids for me, but I did not remember at all that it started so soon after she moved to Lincoln.  (I hope that doesn't make me a bad, opportunistic grand-daughter.)  I am pretty sure she didn't mind and it was certainly great for the kids to be able to spend time one-on-one with her.  Not that they always wanted to -- see a paper Mitch wrote in November of 2004, a year to the month before Grandma died and before she was diagnosed. 

The Card Game

One way that I have grown up or looked at a person differently involves me and my great-grandma, Marian.  Let me start off by telling you a little about my grandmother.  She is 92 years old and her will to fight is too strong to describe.  Her husband died almost four years ago on Christmas Eve.  It was hard for everyone but especially for Grandma, so she soon decided to move to Lincoln closer to family.  So whenever the family had nothing to do in the evenings we went over to her house to play cards.  It turned into a weekly routine and we all went over to play cards.  I found I was quickly getting bored and I started not wanting to go.

That was one year ago and I used to avoid going to her house but once I said no, I don't really want to, a thick haze of guilt covered me like a felt blanket.  But we still went occasionally and I still didn't want to go until my mother asked me one day why I didn't want to go and I said that I just didn't want to.  She gave me a crooked look and left.  The same question and following look arrived more and more until she did not accept my usual answer, "I just don't want to go".  She insisted one day that I give her another answer and I told her that I just got really bored sitting there and playing cards.  She stood there for a few seconds and told me that I needed to understand that her husband died, she had to move from the house she lived in almost her whole life, and the fact that she lives alone.  No one here in the family can truly relate to the situation she is in.  Then came that same haze of guilt, only this time the blanket was folded over and it was much heavier.

She has lived near us three years now and I look at my grandmother in ways that I have never looked at her before.  If she can live through all the stuff she has so far, I'm guessing that she could take on the world with one eye shut and one arm tied behind her back.  I now understand what she has gone through and whenever she has a card game scheduled I will always be there if I can make it.  That is how I came to change my view of my grandmother from being bored to being loving and supporting.

There are a few technical errors here; the date Grandpa died and the "whenever the family had nothing to do".....we did go just to go, not just as a last resort.  But, all in all, he did pretty good with this.  Oh, and on his "I don't want to go" instances, we went anyway -- he did not get to call the shots.  I may have let him stay home a few times, but that would have been it.

The photo is of everyone mentioned in this post except Bill and myself.  Look at those flowers!

Lots of 'Cubing going on

"November 15, 2001:  Myrtle called in a.m.  Started reading new book.
November 16, 2001:  Nancy came for supper.  Then my shower and some Rummicube.
November 18, 2001:  Nancy came a little after 12:00.  Went shopping.  Went to Sears to get bathroom rugs.  Saw Kenneth Jaeger.  Had a real nice visit with him.  Ate at the Village Inn -- then home and played a game of Rummicube."

As previously mentioned, Grandma wanted the paint in the bedroom and living room of her new place to match the old place as closely as possible.  I was given free rein to pick the color for the bathroom.  Not that there was much wall space to paint, but I went with a light lavender.  I didn't think I could go wrong with that.  And now I can't remember what color rugs she got for in there.  Oh, well.

I looked just now at Amazon.com to see if it was Grandma or I who was spelling "Rummicube" right.  Turns out neither of us were; she consistently put Rummicub and I thought for sure that should have an "e" at the end, given the way we pronounce it.  In truth, it is Rummikub, so I'll endeavor to be correct from now on.  Interesting to note, but not enough for me to purchase, that there are miniature versions, Attache Rummikub and Travel Rummikub.  Both sound way too little to mess with, but in a pinch I guess all bets would be off.

Speaking of Aunt Myrtle, here's this great photo of (l. to r.) Aunt Margaret, Aunt Myrtle, Little Grandma , Aunt Clara and . . . Aunt Kate?

Meeting and mingling

"November 12, 2001:  I talked to Maryan C. about the two calls concerning noise from hammering.  A lady came and installed the Life Line instrument.  Late in p.m., Maryan came and told me who made the calls and not to worry about it.  'Go ahead and finish your hanging pictures, etc.'
November 13, 2001:  Mary took me at noon to have my hair-do.  Bill came to visit Saturday p.m.  He was in Lincoln to apply for Social Security.  Nancy came for supper -- then my shower and then Rummicube.
November 14, 2001:  Went to Book Club meeting in evening.  Brought home a book in large print 'Washington Wives'.  After the meeting stopped at Zoya Z.'s place.  She's very nice and friendly."

I was so glad when Grandma started reading books again.  I don't know if she was squeamish about requesting large print, but I am glad she did it.  I also do not know if she had trouble reading it with her eyes the way they were.  Of course, I was really happy when she was able to get different lenses for her glasses and was back to reading print as small as that in the newspaper.

All this also brings to mind how great it was that Grandma was just an elevator ride and a short walk away from new friends and that she was so tickled to go on out there and make new friends; going to the book club, playing cards with the usual group, and getting grief for winning the football pool so much.  I loved it.

And here's a photo before Grandma thought about large print books, or even glasses for that matter.  I think she looks lovely.

Neighbors!!!!

"November 9, 2001:  Maintenance men here to work on radiators -- no warm air, just cold.  By evening all okay.  Arlene P. called from York.  They like it there.

November 10, 2001:  Nancy and Lois came at noon with lunch from Popeyes.  They watched Nebraska football game and then state finals of high school volleyball.

November 11, 2001:  Greta came to Lincoln.  Greta, Nancy and I met Mary, Mitch and Anna at Boston Market.  After the meal we went shopping.  I found a light to put under the cupboard above the sink.  We went to see Dale's house -- will be great when finished.  Tom came in late p.m.  About 5:30 a woman came and said the pounding disturbed her when she was working!!!!"

Those four exclamation marks are exactly what Grandma had written down.  I suppose it was a bit of an adjustment to have to worry about disturbing people after having always lived in a house and not multi-unit housing.  There are bound to be some stinkers in any group setting.  Overall, I believe Grandma's experience at The Pioneer House was a positive one.

And Grandma was right.  Dale's house is great even though it nearly killed him, and by extension, Lynn, too.  Here he is with me drinking milk in 1965.  We are reading real estate news and I think Dale has a milk moustache.

Oh, and shame on me....I missed saying something on Grandma's birthday!!  Happy 101st!

Assisted living

"November 6, 2001:  Mary took me to the hair dresser.  Evena Stemm brought me two red roses.
November 7, 2001:  Nancy took me to the doctor -- Shawn Semin.  He seems real nice -- we shopped -- then played some Rummicube.  I went to Book Club at 6:45 and Nancy did my washing.
November 8, 2001:  Maintenance man worked on radiators.  I saw "Brigadoon" and "Kismet" in evening.  A lot of music."

I haven't read ahead to see if Grandma ever wrote it down, but she was fond of saying that she stayed in an assisted living place -- Nancy assisted with groceries, Tom assisted with laundry, I assisted with hair dresser visits, etc. etc.  She got a chuckle out of telling people that.

Grandma also was conflicted about the beauty college we went to for her hair appointments.  We would go over my lunch.  I would pick her up and take her there and wait for her to finish.  Due to whatever their scheduling restraints were, it would take f..o..r..e..v..e..r.  I was not getting in to trouble at work and could take some short lunches to make up for the lost time, and I told her so, but Grandma did not like that at all.  So, she worked out a solution a ways down the road.  She took the HandiVan to her appointment and then just had the desk call me when she was finished.  We then had time for me to pick her up and have lunch together.  It was a good solution, and she felt much better about the whole situation.  Plus, we had some good lunches and good visits.  Because of that tradition, I have arm-twisted Mom into hosting me and anyone else that shows up on Fridays for lunch.  Pretty clever, eh?

I am still thinking about Uncle Raymond, so here is a photo of him being silly.  I will be honest -- it took me comparing two photos of two different men in buttoned-down shirts to figure out which was Grandpa and which was Uncle Raymond when they both had that goofy mask on.  But I got it right.

Bye, for now, to Uncle Raymond

"November 3, 2001:  Nancy came in a.m. and helped rearrange articles on top shelves.  She left at noon to meet Jeff and Tom to go to the Nebraska football game in Lawrence, Kansas.  Maryan C. came to visit in p.m.  I watched movies in evening.  Saw Bette Davis in "Dark Victory" and then "My Fair Lady".  Got to bed at 3:00 a.m.
November 4, 2001:  Talked to Greta in a.m.  Jeff, Tom and Merilyn here in evening.  Tom brought some good Mexican food.  Tom and Merilyn showed me how to use the oven on my new electric stove.
November 5, 2001:  Nancy here in evening."

Funny, I had completely forgotten about the hours Grandma kept once she moved to Lincoln.  It was not unusual to hear her say she had stayed up well past midnight.  I am thinking it was almost always to watch movies.

I can't complete this post without mentioning dear Uncle Raymond who passed away this week.  If he was ever grumpy, I never saw it.  Word is, he was a favorite at the retirement home he lived at and until very recently was enjoying company and playing cards and going to BINGO.  He was 99 years old, a combat veteran of WWII, and a husband who had the sad task of burying two wives.  I suppose both Aunt Ramona and Aunt Marina can fuss over him now.  And I imagine all the fine folks in this photo, plus their other siblings and spouses, are having a rootin' tootin' good time together.  I must say Aunt Irene's expression is illustrating my point the best.